YOUR HEAD ESSPLODE

Called it.

A rep from Epic Records says there will not be any new Fiona Apple songs in the next few weeks. The label lackey tells TIME.com ”absolutely” this year, “but timing wise, I don’t know exactly when.”

Oh, you mean like last time? As if I’m going to put any faith in a woman who says the words “timing wise.”

This news sucks and that lady’s word choice sucks, so I’m going to cheer myself up with this picture.

Before the release of Fiona’s last album, there was a “make your own Extraordinary Machine album cover” contest on Stereogum. Fiona as Robocop was definitely my favorite. (Honorable mention goes to the one of Fiona holding a Sidekick II.) You can see all of Stereogum’s top submissions here.

New music from Fiona Apple ‘in the next few weeks’

Remember how in 2010, Billboard reported that a new Fiona Apple album would be out in spring 2011? And then remember how it’s 2012 and that still hasn’t happened?

Sunday via Twitter, L.A. Reid, CEO of Fiona’s record label, Epic, alluded to there being new music from Fiona “in the next few weeks.”

TROLOLOL, I’ll really hold my breath for that, especially knowing that Fiona has said that her record has been done “for a fucking year.”

Meanwhile, lucky Angelenos can see Fi performing yet again during the Watkins Family Hour at Largo tomorrow, January 25. 

[insert every Rage Comics face here]